I remember hating my name when I was growing up. It was so often mispronounced and I got tired of having to correct people. I didn’t know until I was an adult that it actually wasn’t being mispronounced. My biological mother named me Deborah Dean, but the hospital misspelled it Deanne, so it became Dee Ann rather than Dean. Boy, I was so upset because I would’ve loved to have been called Deborah Dean. What a quintessential Southern name for a girl of the sixties. I loved it. But, my adoptive parents dropped the Deborah and kept the Deanne and added Celia. When I located my biological family and found out about the Deborah, I went to court and added the Deborah back to my name, but kept the Celia because it was my adoptive grandmother and great-grandmother’s names. I wasn’t going to insult them. I am honored to be named for them.

The names we give to our children should not be random. These names have much to do with their personalities and the people that they become. One of the reasons that I love the name Deborah is because of Deborah in the Bible. My great-great-grandfather on my biological mother’s side was a German Jew named Joseph Schmaller. This helps me to identify more with Deborah in the Bible. At one time I wanted to be an attorney and judge, but I chose not to be because I realized that attorneys often must compromise their own morals and values to represent people who they know are guilty. I didn’t want to do that. I realized that everyone is entitled to a defense whether guilty or not. That is the American way, but I would not have felt good about myself if I had gotten someone off who I known was guilty. Moreover, I would’ve felt horrible if I had been responsible for someone being convicted who I had known was innocent, especially if it had been a capital case. So, I declined to go into that business as the attorney. I did work for a time as a paralegal. I think that the name Deborah fits who I am as a person because I am a thoughtful and discerning person. I have also served in the military. I relate to Deborah’s strength of judgment and deep faith in God. I wear a bee ring on my finger to remind me to think, to use good (sweet) words, and to put my faith in God not in myself.

I wonder, however, if parents today put much thought into the names that they choose for their children. In the centuries prior, there were naming rules for children. The first born son was named after the paternal grandfather. The second son would be named for the mother’s father. The third son would be named for the father. The first daughter would be named for the mother’s mother. The second daughter would be named for the father’s mother. The third daughter would be named for the mother. We follow none of these anymore.

Each century has had its trends where names are concerned. In the 18th and 19th centuries, the trend was Biblical names. The most popular boy names were John, Thomas, James, Joseph, and the most popular girl names were Sarah, Mary, Faith, Hope, and Charity.

The 20th century saw a diverson from tradition and the beginning of the use of unconventional names as a way of reflecting parents’ creativity, individuality, and nonconformity. “the rise of unconventional names represents a shift in societal attitudes towards naming and an increasing recognition of the importance of individuality and self-expression” ( https://logowski.com/blog/evolution-and-significance-of-naming-across-the-ages), but can this go too far? When does creativity and self-expression become ridiculous or foolish? What may seem cute when a child is three, may at 15 be a reason for teasing and bullying.

I recall when I found out at 40 that I was pregnant with our daughter that I started making lists of names that I liked. Some were just single names others were combinations of first and middle names. I made three and four pages and gave the pages to my husband to choose a name from. He kept not responding to me until two weeks before our daughter decided to make her appearance. I asked him why he was taking so long. He said, “Because I don’t want to make a mistake and choose some name that will embarrass her when she walks across the stage to get her high school diploma.” I thought it was sort of silly at the time, but now I understand after some of these awful names have become infamous.

Many people idolize Kim Kardashian, but there are people like me who believe she is an idiotic, narcissist. Why would anyone in their right mind name their child North West? It’s a child, not a compass. Then you have people like Gwyneth Palthrow who named her daughter Apple. Really, Gwyneth? Apple? That isn’t even cute when 2. It’s just weird. And what about when you’re 80 and a grandma. Your grandchildren go to introduce you to their friends…”This is my Grandma Apple”…nope, that’s just weird! George Foreman named all of his children George. Talk about a narcissist, right? What did he call them at the dinner table…1,2,3,4 or a,b,c,d? Why would you do this to your children? Remember Michael Jackson’s son Blanket or Frank Zappa’s daughter Moon Unit?

One thing I can say about these is at least they are all spelled in the traditional way. The other trend we see with names is that we get cutesy spellings of names. You take a traditional name like Bailey and today it might be spelled Baylee or Bayleigh or Baelee or Baeleigh or Beighlee. Curiously, I often encounter names that are spelled one way but pronounced in a way that does not go with how they are spelled. For example, a friend has a daughter whose name is spelled Elle, but they pronounce it as Ellie. Obviously, it isn’t spelled to be pronounced Ellie; it’s spelled to be pronounced as “L”. So now people are forced to comply with illiteracy.

Then you have people like Elon Musk who just make it all up—the language, the name, and the pronunciation. Elon has thirteen children by three mothers. The more oddly named children are the children of Elon and the singer Grimes. Their first child born in May 2020 is named X Æ A-Xii and goes simply by X. In December 2021, they welcomed a daughter named Exa Dark Sideræl Musk. She goes by the nickname “Y” since her brother is “X”. Their third child together is a son named Techno Mechanicus (a.k.a. Tau).

No doubt Elon’s children are being raised in an alternate reality and will be accustomed to a different lifestyle, but what happens when this isn’t the case? What happens when your family is just the odd family on the block? Trying too hard to be cute can get you into a pickle. Consider names that people have actually given to their children. From Familyminded.com, some of the worst names included “ABCDE”, “Arson”, “Bacardi”, which reminded me of the 80s television show “Blossom” and Blossom’s best friend Six. In the first episode Blossom asks Six how she got her name. Six tells her, “That’s how many beers my dad said it took to get me.” Perhaps that explains the “Bacardi”? But, no kid should ever know that or be named for that! (https://familyminded.com/s/worst-baby-names-3ccbdcefe32c4222) Another list from WRAT 95.9 radio, includes names like “Colon”, “Phelony”, “Jammy”, “Brick”, “Chaos”, and “Lasagne”. (https://wrat.com/listicle/top-25-worst-baby-names-people-used/)

A child can have any nickname. Nicknames often go away. They are not permanent, but a name is forever. A name should be thought about thoroughly before you put it on a child forever. While a name can be changed, it takes time, effort, and money to do it. Names have meanings. Most of them, anyway. This is a child that you love and will raise for the next 18 plus years. Take time to choose a name that matters and that will represent the child’s personality and spirit. Don’t just throw something on them that is meaningless and cute for the moment. Don’t put on the child a name that is difficult to spell and that is a burden. Having to explain a name every time you introduce yourself is a burden. I know from experience and that is why I hated my name. It was always misspelled and mispronounced. I finally gave up and decided to answer to whatever I was called. When I discovered that my real name was Deborah, I couldn’t wait to add that name back and to start calling myself Deborah. Now it is a tad complicated because some people know me as Deanne and newer people who meet me know me as Deborah, but I don’t care. I would have so much rather been called Deborah Dean all these years, but no one asked me when as a 5-year-old I was adopted. It was decided for me that my name would be changed, and they chose my middle (misspelled) name. There are numerous websites that give meanings of names. Do your research. It will be truly meaningful in the end and your grandchildren will thank you for not naming their grandfather Sue!

Hope you have enjoyed this! Have a great week!