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Our Traditional Ways Work

I have always thought of myself as fiercely independent. I believed that I had to be this way because of being an orphan. I never felt that I could truly trust anyone. After I met my husband Michael, this independent spirit began to wane. I used to think those Christian women who believed in submission were crazy. Why would anyone want to do that? When I married the first time, my husband and I always said that we would do things 50/50. It never worked out that way, but that’s what we said. After that marriage fell apart and I began to do soul searching and I read more of my Bible and I talked to people, got counseling, my mind slowing began to change.

I was single for eight years before I met Michael; he had been divorced and single for fourteen. I had my son from my first marriage. He had no children. I was very concerned for my son because his father was not involved at all. I needed someone who was going to be a good father and someone on whom I could depend. I began to see how God’s plan for his family made sense and that was what I wanted. I wasn’t raised to be traditional. My parents did not have a traditional marriage in the sense that my mother really ran the show more so than my father. They both disciplined me. I was far more scared of my mother than my father. My father was more affectionate and spent more time with me, in spite of the fact that he worked so much, than my mother did. Once I was in high school and college, I did not see either of them much because they traveled a lot. My parents raised me to go to college and get a job and marriage was not necessarily a life goal to aspire to because I could do it all myself and didn’t a men to take care of me or my needs.

When Michael and I met and fell in love, I was absolutely sold out on a traditional marriage because I absolutely trusted him to be a Godly husband. He has not given me any reasons not to trust that he will always make decisions in the best interest of our family and that God is at the center of it all. This is such an enormous stress relief compared to how my life was in my first marriage. But the world is changing now and we are encountering social issues that are throwing us curve balls we never imaged having to think about.

Unlike the majority of couples, we do not have conflicts about money. We don’t because, for the most part, we are in agreement on those issues. The problem we have now is that, even though our income is more now than it has ever been, costs are also more than they have ever been. Even though we should be in a situation where life should be fabulous, we feel more stressed about money now than we did years ago when we made so much less. So, I am trying to find more ways to save. Obviously, I am trying to cut expenses where I can. I try to cut unnecessary spending where I can, but you know how that goes…just when you think you’re doing great up pops an expense you were not expecting like a medical bill, or a car repair, or a vet bill. There is always something. So, you never feel like you are getting ahead.

So, now, I am learning to make some of our food at home. Trying to making things like yogurt, butter, cream cheese, sour cream, etc which can be cheaper and better for you made fresh at home instead of buying at the store. We have lost our knowledge of how to make these food items because food makers wanted to make everything for us, convince us it was cheaper and more convenient for them to make it for us, and then they poison us with their chemical concoctions. It is truly a mess we have gotten ourselves into. I remember is college I got to be friends with several international students and I had three of them over for dinner one night. My mother asked them what was the most unusual item they found in America. They all said the same thing…Dough in a can! They were shocked that we did not have freshly baked bread every day like they have in Europe. It is crazy because bread really is not that difficult to make, it is delicious, and homemade is so much better than the preservative ridden, seed oil filled grossness sold in our grocery stores. So, I am learning the skills of my grandmother and great-grandmother. This week I am learning to tinder fat for beef tallow so that I can throw out my seek oils. I made a few mistakes, but they weren’t fatal. I’ll be better on the next batch and on down the road. Gardening and other skills are on my to-do list for this year as well.

We feel the health and welfare of our family is worth the sacrifice of a little time and maybe a little money here and there. Some may save us some; some might be a tad more, but be a health benefit. Progress isn’t worth it if it’s the progress that is killing us, right? All these forever chemicals, plastics that are inside our bodies, and we wonder why we have more childhood cancer, more autism, more obesity. But the same people who protest these things are the same people who jumped on board with an unproven COVID vaccine and multiple boosters and who promote “food” made inside laboratories. The shift from calling “meat” to calling it “protein” is not a coincidence. It is a strategy. Over time, the powers that be hope you forget the word “meat” altogether and that you will eat anything called “protein”, so that means you will eat anything they put in front of you called “protein” whether it is actual “meat” protein that comes from an animal or protein that comes from insect, plant, or chemical created in a lab and you will not question it. I say, “No, I will not.” And be assured, those same powers that be will not be eating the same food as you. They will still be eating whatever they want and it will not be lab created because they are better than you.

The only way to beat their system is not to play in their system. It is to buy local and to make your own; to make as much of your own as you can and to work with your neighbors as you can. It is time to get back to 1930-1960s America where we knew our neighbors and we worked together. Women worked together gardening, picking fruits and vegetables, snapping peas, canning, making cheese, butter, sewing, working together to raise our families. This how our country survived wars and hard times. We can do it again in the face of all the craziness going on, we can do it again, but it requires an American spirit of tradition. What do you say?

Have a great week!

The Love of Reading & Writing

The new wave in education today seems to be a enormous push towards science, technology, environment or engineering (I am not sure), and mathematics. While all of these are worthwhile endeavors, I fear that the appreciation and love of our language, reading, and writing will be lost. One only need look at the decline in knowledge of grammar and punctuation over the past 20 years. Cursive and legible handwriting have disappeared completely…except in my homeschool.

As a genealogist and author, I writing and reading are my passions. Nothing thrills my heart more than to find an interest, research the topic and its issues, and then write about it. I love the construction of writing a novel. Researching the time period, place, and history of where my novel will take place is just as thrilling as writing a nonfiction, news/editorial type story. To do any writing assignment well, though, the writer must know grammar and punctuation rules. A “texting” type language exists nowhere else except in our Internet driven social media driven world. Artificial Intelligence may degrade that even further as it becomes more dominant. (A time I dread!)

It is unfortunate that the laziness of this new world is destroying our language. Punctuation is nonexistent in texting. The formality of writing a business letter is being replaced by the more informal email. As an “old” lady, I, of course, type messages in complete sentences and use appropriate punctuation (though, if the message is one sentence, I may pass on the ending punctuation). I refuse to do otherwise because I appreciate our language, as I would hope Germans, French, Dutch, etc., appreciate theirs.

I do not know what is taught these days in high school literature courses. My daughter, who is entering 10th grade in the Fall, read classic, mostly American, literature this year. She read Hawthorne, Twain, McCullers, Wells, Lee, and others. Next school year, we will read international authors to correspond with our world history course.

The greatest part of reading, in my opinion, is the ability to envision the places and people as you read the story. You can transport yourself as an invisible observer in the story as it is unfolds. As a child who spent many hours alone, reading allowed me to imagine myself as the part of a large family, to live in an exotic location, to be a princess. While you can do this while watching a movie, it isn’t the same because movies often draw conclusions where the book may not have. Movies today leave little to our imaginations, which is disheartening.

When we read books, regardless of who wrote them or where they were written or where they take place, we read the story with our own world view and perspective. A story can have hundreds of different versions depending on the reader. To me this is one of the most amazing aspects of reading and writing.

As a writer I want to describe my characters so that the reader fully understands the character and his/her importance to the story. However, an author shouldn’t go too far with description because you want to the leave room for the reader to imagine the character for himself/herself.

For our children to fully understand and appreciate the written word, they have to learn to use their imaginations. This begins at birth. We immediately begin to show children how to play, how to imagine being a mommy or a daddy, how to play “house” or “work”, how to be a superhero. This education should really never end, except that, of course, they must also learn to live in reality, but that is a topic for another blog post.

As I have watched children over the past 15 years and the changes in education, I have seen difficult subjects being forced down upon younger and younger children; children who do not yet possess the necessary skills to do that work. We know that a child’s brain goes through well defined stages of growth which do not end until around the age of 25. Children are losing their playing time. This is the time when they learn by playing. Instead, they are being forced to sit still and listen to instruction which their little bodies are not able to do. When they inevitably move around, talk, or fail to pay attention, we punish them. Later, we become aggravated because our children are not able to cope, to appropriately interact with each other, or to modify their behavior to the situation. It is because we have robbed them of the most important socializing period of their lives…pre-k to second grade.

I agree that math, science, and technology are important, but if the student cannot write in a logical, well reasoned and structured manner to communicate what they have learned about these topics, what good is it? There are no subjects in education that are not important. All of these skills and knowledge work together to create the well-rounded student. Children need to be challenged to learn the subjects that they do not like as much as they need to focus on the ones that they love. As with most situations in life, we learn far more from the accomplishments made in those difficult times than we do when things are going easy.

Challenge your children to read. Challenge them to write. Challenge them to practice their handwriting. Make it a contest with your handwriting. Show them a letter written to you from an older person and see if they can read it. Print out a document from the 19th century before printing became commonplace. Read it together. These are wonderful bonding opportunities and another way to challenge them in their education because, after all, we parents are responsible for everything they learn.

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Author. Political Analyst. Family Historian

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